I honestly forgot why I started this blog. I have others that have fallen to the wayside, like most things in my life. I spend all of my energy focusing on just getting through the day at this point. Between the pandemic, the election and just...life - I'm all fucked up. 

I started Nanowrimo...and of course with election week I've been an anxious mess. Chest pain, hyperventilation, you name it. I keep telling myself I'm not a good enough writer. I haven't written in a long time, I used to as a kid all the time. It was in my blood, my passion, my thing. It was my thing I did constantly. I stopped over the years while raising kids and just trying to live. I've started again. I keep telling myself I'm not good enough, but that begs the question...good enough for what? I am not writing for anyone else. Just for me. I want to do it because I want to do it. So what if it's bad? I have this severe fear of failure but I don't actually let myself fail. I stop before I fail. What the fuck is the point in that exactly, other than to feel like utter shit for not even trying. 

So I am writing this to myself, sorta, but I will publish it anyway.

Sara, write the damn thing. Just keep writing. Who cares how bad it is, or how good it is. Just write the damn thing. <3 

Anyone who reads this in internet world take the same advice I am attempting to give myself. Just write the damn thing. Write it for you and no one else. Write it to feel accomplished. Write the damn thing.