Facebook

I have an addiction. It's facebook. I'm on it a lot. On my computer and on my phone. It's like I can't stop myself. I want to. I want to pay more attention to my kids. I feel like since my grandmother died I've become immersed into computers and phones. I didn't used to be like that but after her death the computer kept me sane. Now, I just am on it way too much. I feel like I'm missing out on my kids' lives. That's so horrible to do and feel that way. I want to change. I want to be a good mom. I really truly do. My oldest is leaving for a few weeks to go with his grandparents in Indiana. I will miss him terribly. He drives me crazy most of the time and makes huge messes....but I will miss him badly. I want to be a better mom to him. I want to so so badly. I feel like I failed him in many ways...moving around a lot, then me going crazy when my grandmother died...I was horrible. I barely remember. A1 has had a rough life...and I sometimes take my anger out on him. I shouldn't. He's a great kid and I love him with most of my heart (A2 and DH get the rest.) :)

I think I'm going to actively try to be a better mom. Step 1 - stop using facebook so damn much.